Today didn't get off to the best start, but once I got into work, things improved. I had a good day at the office and was looking forward to picking up my little lads at the end of the day. All of my good things have to do with the kids, so this is going to be a pretty lame mom post. I'd say I'm sorry, but that would be a lie.
1. I dropped Carter's preschool application off before I got into work today.
I remember when we bought this house, seeing how close that school was and thinking that would likely be the school that our kids attended. I remember walking into the house for the very first time and thinking, "one day, I will put a little person in a backpack in this landing before walking them down the street to school every day." I hadn't pictured moments like that in any house we'd seen up to that point. This house was the 14th house that we saw.
And now, that moment with the backpack and the walk down the block is one in my direct line of sight.
I know it's so annoying to talk about how much I can't believe we're at this stage, but I can't. For me, parenthood is a strange thing that way; there are these milestones that, at one time, feel like they are light years away and, yet, they are in your present before you've fully comprehended your past. I also think that before the babies show up, there are a bunch of milestones that are marker moments that you imagine over and over. You find out your pregnant *marker*; you give birth *marker + stitches*; baby is one month old *marker*; baby is six months old *marker*; baby turns one year, starts walking, starts talking... *marker, marker, marker*. For me there is a disbelief in those moments because I imagined them for so long and so many times over. And, now they are upon us. They have moved from fantasy into reality. It's a weird transition for my brain to make.
And now I have a five-year old who will be attending kindergarten in the fall. I am soon to be the mom of a kindergartener.
2. Gray was so funny this evening. Lately, he pulls himself up onto the chair in his room and insists on reading himself books, "Grayson read." And so, tonight, he sat on my lap and read his own books. One of the books he read was "Twinkle, Twinkle, You're My Star." He sang it... and danced while he sang. I mean... holy crap. Another one was, "How Do Dinosaurs Act When They're Mad." We read this book a lot, so he knows the basics of what a lot of the pages say. I sat there in that chair thinking about how he was our surprise baby and relishing in how complete he has made our lives and our family. He's such a little personality already and he's such a smart little monster.
3. After I read books to Carter, I didn't lay down with him like I usually do because I hadn't eaten supper and I was starved out. I told him I'd come back after I got some food into my gullet. After eating, as I walked into his room, we nearly ran into each other in his doorway; he was coming out to see where I was. "You done your pizza now, Mom?" "Yup, I was just coming in to lay with you." He smiled, and grabbed my hand, "Come on, Mom."
We crawled into his bed and had our usual argument over who loves who more. Then he threw himself at me to give me the biggest hug. He's still pretty affectionate for a five year old. I know that will become less and less as he gets older, but I secretly hope that he's always a mama's boy.
And those were the pleasantries of my day. Those were the moments where I thought, "this really is the best that it can possibly be: this, right here -- how I feel in this moment. Like I couldn't be more in love." Those are the moments that sustain the rest of life - the hard and mundane parts. At least, that is my truth.
Tuesday, 31 January 2017
Monday, 30 January 2017
DAY 128 - 129 - Sunday, January 29 & Monday, January 30, 2017 -
Still behind! You're shocked. I can tell. I'll get better this week -- I promise. I think I promise.
I'm feeling a fair bit of anxiety these last few days. Jeff is leaving for work for the week, then he and I are on a little getaway of our own, and then he's right back out of the country for work. How unsettled our home life is brings me anxiety. I am old and boring; this means that I like routine and incredibly lame stability. I know I can have that with the just the kids and I, but I miss Jeff a lot when he's gone and feel like this next month is just going to be very fractured... for lack of a better word.
But, good things? Sure.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
1. We went for brunch with my family and we went to the very hotel in which Jeff and I got married. They actually had brunch set up in the same room that we exchanged vows in. It was pretty neat to be back in that space, but this time with two kids. I wished my past, bride-self could have seen that picture. She would have loved it.
2. After brunch, we took the boys over to Chapters for a look around. They each got one book and one toy. We don't do this too often -- usually we opt for the library -- but once in a while, it's a fun and special treat.
3. In the evening, instead of writing my three good things, I parked my ass on the couch and read my book, In a Dark, Dark Wood. It has been a long time since I read for hours, but it was wonderful. The book started out really promising, but became painfully predictable. Either way, I did enjoy the book and escaping into the world of easy fiction is one of life's great pleasures.
Monday, January 30, 2017
1. Carter had speech therapy today and did really well. I just really like his therapist. She gives such great tips and he really loves her.
2. This afternoon, I sent my mom a short, venty text about how I should have brought the kids over for a few hours this afternoon and just taken that time, at home, to myself. She said, "just bring them over now." Well, you don't have to twist my arm. I took them over, came home and made a beeline for my bed. I read, napped, and loved every second.
On a side note, I am feeling fatigued lately to a degree that has Jeff concerned. Maybe it's time to get in for a physical and see what the hell my iron levels are doing now that it's been over a year since I went back to being a vegetarian.
3. My mom offered to keep Carter over night for me to make my morning a little easier since I'm on my own with the munchkins. I left it up to Carter and, of course, he wanted to sleep over. He was pretty flippin' excited about it too. Gray had gymnastics tonight and my dad always comes to watch. When we were leaving and Grayson realized that Grandpa and Big Brother were going to Grandma and Grandpa's and he was not, he had a meltdown... that lasted about an hour. And he just kept saying "see pe. Big brother. Pe. Big Brother," over and over while crying. Poor guy :-/ It's never, ever a good feeling to see your kids sad, but how much he loves his Grandpa and how much he missed Big Brother was a bit of a heart-melter.
And with that, it's past my bedtime.
Nighty-Night.
I'm feeling a fair bit of anxiety these last few days. Jeff is leaving for work for the week, then he and I are on a little getaway of our own, and then he's right back out of the country for work. How unsettled our home life is brings me anxiety. I am old and boring; this means that I like routine and incredibly lame stability. I know I can have that with the just the kids and I, but I miss Jeff a lot when he's gone and feel like this next month is just going to be very fractured... for lack of a better word.
But, good things? Sure.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
1. We went for brunch with my family and we went to the very hotel in which Jeff and I got married. They actually had brunch set up in the same room that we exchanged vows in. It was pretty neat to be back in that space, but this time with two kids. I wished my past, bride-self could have seen that picture. She would have loved it.
2. After brunch, we took the boys over to Chapters for a look around. They each got one book and one toy. We don't do this too often -- usually we opt for the library -- but once in a while, it's a fun and special treat.
3. In the evening, instead of writing my three good things, I parked my ass on the couch and read my book, In a Dark, Dark Wood. It has been a long time since I read for hours, but it was wonderful. The book started out really promising, but became painfully predictable. Either way, I did enjoy the book and escaping into the world of easy fiction is one of life's great pleasures.
Monday, January 30, 2017
1. Carter had speech therapy today and did really well. I just really like his therapist. She gives such great tips and he really loves her.
2. This afternoon, I sent my mom a short, venty text about how I should have brought the kids over for a few hours this afternoon and just taken that time, at home, to myself. She said, "just bring them over now." Well, you don't have to twist my arm. I took them over, came home and made a beeline for my bed. I read, napped, and loved every second.
On a side note, I am feeling fatigued lately to a degree that has Jeff concerned. Maybe it's time to get in for a physical and see what the hell my iron levels are doing now that it's been over a year since I went back to being a vegetarian.
3. My mom offered to keep Carter over night for me to make my morning a little easier since I'm on my own with the munchkins. I left it up to Carter and, of course, he wanted to sleep over. He was pretty flippin' excited about it too. Gray had gymnastics tonight and my dad always comes to watch. When we were leaving and Grayson realized that Grandpa and Big Brother were going to Grandma and Grandpa's and he was not, he had a meltdown... that lasted about an hour. And he just kept saying "see pe. Big brother. Pe. Big Brother," over and over while crying. Poor guy :-/ It's never, ever a good feeling to see your kids sad, but how much he loves his Grandpa and how much he missed Big Brother was a bit of a heart-melter.
And with that, it's past my bedtime.
Nighty-Night.
Saturday, 28 January 2017
DAY 125 - 127 - Thursday, January 26 to Saturday, January 28, 2017
I can't seem to keep up with the posts these days. Again, I'm so behind. I am two posts behind, and then I need to do today's, so I've settled onto the couch, under a blanket, armed with a cat on one side, a handsome husband on the other, and tea on the coffee table, so let's do this. As a warning: these good things are completely boring and mundane.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
1. At work today, I had coffee with Ali. I have two Ali's in my life and they are both seriously awesome women. I can talk freely about pretty much anything with both of them and feel like they understand me in a way that not everyone does. That kind of connection in this life is one you have to hold on to, because they aren't common.
But back to today. My mid-day work coffee date with my work Ali was wonderful. She put some things in perspective in a way I found truly helpful.
2. The evening brought me another coffee date with my most-loved and often-referenced Pat Hanley. Time with her is always a treat. How I feel about her is pretty much summed up mainly in cliche: she's a sight for sore eyes. She's a ray of sunshine in the dark. It sounds silly to even say them, but they're true. She makes my soul happy, rejuvenates me, and makes my heart so happy.
3. Pat and I were (for once) reasonable about the hour at which we wrapped up our date and she left at about 9:30 p.m. We were at Starbucks in the Chapters for our date and her leaving at 9:30 meant I was alone in a bookstore. Wondering around a bookstore is pretty much my idea of a perfect date -- even if it's a little date with myself.
I wondered over to the day planner section. I did already have one for this year, but it wasn't pretty. I'm pretty sure that we can all agree that a day planner that isn't pretty isn't doing its job. I found this gorgeous planner on sale and had some money left over on a gift card, which means that it was only $13.00. Now, I'm winning at life with a pretty pink planner :)
Friday, January 27, 2017
1. Okay, I know I say this a lot, but I had one of the most productive days ever at work today. Productivity is addicting. I got two things off of my work to-do list that have been hangin' on for longer than they should have, so getting them "out of my life" as I tell my boss made me feel like I was wearing some sort of superhero cape. (It might also have been the fact that I wore superhero cape to work... )
2. We went to my parents' place for supper since they were with my mom for the day. We had some interesting chats about Trump. *shakes head* Carter asked to sleepover and was very excited when everyone said yes. It was an enjoyable evening.
3. The night ended with one episode of our TV show and a bedtime that included Kindle time.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
1. The cleaners came over today, so we needed to be out of the house for a couple of hours and decided to run some errands. One of our shopping stops was to get Jeff some new jeans. He was nice enough to buy me a new shirt too. True love, that is. I mean, I told him that he was buying it for me, but still :)
2. Carter went to my cousin's little girl's birthday party today. It was at the bowling alley and I was planning on taking him, but I was so tired that I asked if Jeff could go instead so that I could lay down, read, and nap it out. Once I got Gray to bed, I hopped right into mine and stayed put for two hours. It was actual perfection.
3. Once the boys got home and Gray got up, I hung out with the kids while Jeff made fresh pasta for supper (yum). I wasn't on my phone or half-cleaning; I was just playing with them in whatever way they dictated. What ended up happening was that I read the stupid Teen Titans Pizza Power book about 10 times over. I'm sure I've nearly memorized that stupid book, but regardless of what we were doing, being present with the kids is one of the most rewarding feelings.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
1. At work today, I had coffee with Ali. I have two Ali's in my life and they are both seriously awesome women. I can talk freely about pretty much anything with both of them and feel like they understand me in a way that not everyone does. That kind of connection in this life is one you have to hold on to, because they aren't common.
But back to today. My mid-day work coffee date with my work Ali was wonderful. She put some things in perspective in a way I found truly helpful.
2. The evening brought me another coffee date with my most-loved and often-referenced Pat Hanley. Time with her is always a treat. How I feel about her is pretty much summed up mainly in cliche: she's a sight for sore eyes. She's a ray of sunshine in the dark. It sounds silly to even say them, but they're true. She makes my soul happy, rejuvenates me, and makes my heart so happy.
3. Pat and I were (for once) reasonable about the hour at which we wrapped up our date and she left at about 9:30 p.m. We were at Starbucks in the Chapters for our date and her leaving at 9:30 meant I was alone in a bookstore. Wondering around a bookstore is pretty much my idea of a perfect date -- even if it's a little date with myself.
I wondered over to the day planner section. I did already have one for this year, but it wasn't pretty. I'm pretty sure that we can all agree that a day planner that isn't pretty isn't doing its job. I found this gorgeous planner on sale and had some money left over on a gift card, which means that it was only $13.00. Now, I'm winning at life with a pretty pink planner :)
Friday, January 27, 2017
1. Okay, I know I say this a lot, but I had one of the most productive days ever at work today. Productivity is addicting. I got two things off of my work to-do list that have been hangin' on for longer than they should have, so getting them "out of my life" as I tell my boss made me feel like I was wearing some sort of superhero cape. (It might also have been the fact that I wore superhero cape to work... )
2. We went to my parents' place for supper since they were with my mom for the day. We had some interesting chats about Trump. *shakes head* Carter asked to sleepover and was very excited when everyone said yes. It was an enjoyable evening.
3. The night ended with one episode of our TV show and a bedtime that included Kindle time.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
1. The cleaners came over today, so we needed to be out of the house for a couple of hours and decided to run some errands. One of our shopping stops was to get Jeff some new jeans. He was nice enough to buy me a new shirt too. True love, that is. I mean, I told him that he was buying it for me, but still :)
2. Carter went to my cousin's little girl's birthday party today. It was at the bowling alley and I was planning on taking him, but I was so tired that I asked if Jeff could go instead so that I could lay down, read, and nap it out. Once I got Gray to bed, I hopped right into mine and stayed put for two hours. It was actual perfection.
3. Once the boys got home and Gray got up, I hung out with the kids while Jeff made fresh pasta for supper (yum). I wasn't on my phone or half-cleaning; I was just playing with them in whatever way they dictated. What ended up happening was that I read the stupid Teen Titans Pizza Power book about 10 times over. I'm sure I've nearly memorized that stupid book, but regardless of what we were doing, being present with the kids is one of the most rewarding feelings.
Thursday, 26 January 2017
DAY 124 - Wednesday, January 25, 2017 - I'm a Skimper: Hot Baths; Strange Admissions; and Passports
Gosh dangit. I just can't get these posts up on time lately! I will not stop, though, so here was yesterday's good thing-its. Yes, I said thingits.
1. After "just doing one more thing" for well over an hour, I finally did what I'd been wanting to do all night and took a really hot bath. I'm talking the kind of hot where you can see where on your body the water level was because half of you is lobster red and the other half is the pasty white of most Saskatchewanians. It was glorious, I tells ya.
2. What did I do while in the bath? Personal question but okay, since this is just between us, I'll tell you: I talked on the phone to Krystal. These are the kind of weird things you can do with your soul sister; talk to her on the phone while she knows you're naked in a tub, or while you're going pee. True -- gross, but true. And now you know.
3. I got Grayson's passport today. This means everyone in my house has a passport. I'm pumped about it because it means we can do an impromptu US trip, if Jeff was travelling on business and it might work out for the kids and I (and maybe my Mama) to join him. And, more importantly, it means we can get really serious about planning our trip to Disneyworld next year!
1. After "just doing one more thing" for well over an hour, I finally did what I'd been wanting to do all night and took a really hot bath. I'm talking the kind of hot where you can see where on your body the water level was because half of you is lobster red and the other half is the pasty white of most Saskatchewanians. It was glorious, I tells ya.
2. What did I do while in the bath? Personal question but okay, since this is just between us, I'll tell you: I talked on the phone to Krystal. These are the kind of weird things you can do with your soul sister; talk to her on the phone while she knows you're naked in a tub, or while you're going pee. True -- gross, but true. And now you know.
3. I got Grayson's passport today. This means everyone in my house has a passport. I'm pumped about it because it means we can do an impromptu US trip, if Jeff was travelling on business and it might work out for the kids and I (and maybe my Mama) to join him. And, more importantly, it means we can get really serious about planning our trip to Disneyworld next year!
Wednesday, 25 January 2017
DAY 123 - Monday, January 24, 2017 - Three Good Things, from Yesterday
We're just about a month into 2017 and for me the theme of the year thus far is disillusionment. I think a lot of people are feeling this way, as Trump took office, but the feeling has seeped into other areas of my life, for example, this season of The Bachelor, with the delicious Nick Viall has been very meh for me to this point. This is a joke of course -- mostly; I do feel a little disappointed at my own lack of interest in this season since I was looking forward to it so much.
In all seriousness though, I just have an overall sense of the blahs as of late. Maybe it's January and the fact that January started with weather so cold, leaving the house was essentially dangerous. Maybe it's that there's this awful stomach bug going around and my anxiety is freaking the hell out about it. Maybe it's the fact that Jeff will be out of town next week on business and I'm not looking forward to that. Maybe it's the fact that we know that any day, we will get a call about his Grandma to alert us that she's gone. Maybe it's that I feel like we've been going non-stop since the Christmas break ended. Maybe I'm burning out.
I don't know. I just feel... off. I feel foggy, and more like disengaging in nearly everything than I have in as long as I can remember. I am not depressed, I am just - I don't know - uninterested. Luckily, the cornerstones of my life are solid and remain fulfilling: my marriage, my family, my job. It's just sort of all of the fluff around me that's starting to feel, for lack of a better word: annoying.
Anyway, I bailed on my three good things yesterday and decided to start a book instead (In a Dark, Dark Wood - which, by the way, is really good so far). But, in the interests of keeping up on those good things, here they are:
1. Skipping the three good things to read. I fell asleep reading. Few things in life are better than that.
2. Yesterday, I took my half day and spent the morning with the kids at the Early Years Family Centre. I loved it. It was a beautiful space that focused more on sensory toys and items than Toys R Us type toys, and that's why I liked it so much. I had never taken the boys to one of these before and we only went because it was a field trip for Carter's preschool. I will go back, no question.
3. Laying down on the couch when we got home from work. I'm not sure if I'm coming down with something or if it's tiredness catching up with me, but I just felt really tired, mildly achy, and headache-y. That 100% sounds like a flu, but I really should start keeping a log because my whole body (especially my lower back, hips, and legs) feel achy a lot. I can't count the number of times I've thought, "hmmmm, I wonder if I'm getting a flu" only to be completely fine the next day. It's probably time to make a doctor's appointment.
Anyway, laying down and closing my eyes for 45 minutes was a nice little break. I feel like in everything Jeff and I do, we hit the ground running and sometimes your body just wants to sit one out. And that was me last night.
It's Wednesday. I am off today, have a therapy appointment this afternoon, a date with a friend tonight for Chapters and Starbucks, and little-to-no desire to wear make-up or do my hair. Given the fact that I look like this----------------------->
I'm not sure how that lack of motivation is going to work out...
In all seriousness though, I just have an overall sense of the blahs as of late. Maybe it's January and the fact that January started with weather so cold, leaving the house was essentially dangerous. Maybe it's that there's this awful stomach bug going around and my anxiety is freaking the hell out about it. Maybe it's the fact that Jeff will be out of town next week on business and I'm not looking forward to that. Maybe it's the fact that we know that any day, we will get a call about his Grandma to alert us that she's gone. Maybe it's that I feel like we've been going non-stop since the Christmas break ended. Maybe I'm burning out.
I don't know. I just feel... off. I feel foggy, and more like disengaging in nearly everything than I have in as long as I can remember. I am not depressed, I am just - I don't know - uninterested. Luckily, the cornerstones of my life are solid and remain fulfilling: my marriage, my family, my job. It's just sort of all of the fluff around me that's starting to feel, for lack of a better word: annoying.
Anyway, I bailed on my three good things yesterday and decided to start a book instead (In a Dark, Dark Wood - which, by the way, is really good so far). But, in the interests of keeping up on those good things, here they are:
1. Skipping the three good things to read. I fell asleep reading. Few things in life are better than that.
3. Laying down on the couch when we got home from work. I'm not sure if I'm coming down with something or if it's tiredness catching up with me, but I just felt really tired, mildly achy, and headache-y. That 100% sounds like a flu, but I really should start keeping a log because my whole body (especially my lower back, hips, and legs) feel achy a lot. I can't count the number of times I've thought, "hmmmm, I wonder if I'm getting a flu" only to be completely fine the next day. It's probably time to make a doctor's appointment.
Anyway, laying down and closing my eyes for 45 minutes was a nice little break. I feel like in everything Jeff and I do, we hit the ground running and sometimes your body just wants to sit one out. And that was me last night.
It's Wednesday. I am off today, have a therapy appointment this afternoon, a date with a friend tonight for Chapters and Starbucks, and little-to-no desire to wear make-up or do my hair. Given the fact that I look like this----------------------->
I'm not sure how that lack of motivation is going to work out...
Monday, 23 January 2017
DAY 122 - Monday, January 23, 2017 - Taking a Time-out & Some Good Things
Happy Monday, People.
I don't even really know where to begin this post. I am not normally one ... seriously, I can't even come up with the words to accurately express how I'm feeling. Okay, let's start over.
I am going to take a break from social media. Facebook, specifically. I do still have to be on it for work, but in terms of my own Facebook, I feel like I need to check out.
I will keep posting Instagram pictures of my cute kids and sharing those to Facebook, and I will continue to correspond with people through Facebook's messages, but I need to step away from my news feed for a bit. Scrolling in the last little bit has left me feeling gross. I just don't know what other word to use. Actually, I can think of many other words to use: disappointed, frustrated, sad, defeated, disillusioned. I feel like I need an effing shower.
I 100% know that "checking out" isn't the answer, but I need a rest from all of the Trump stuff that's plastered all over my news feed (and my own Facebook page). I need to disengage from it for a bit. I need to stop reading long conversation threads, at the heart of which men (typically) are putting air quotes around the words "male privilege", making fun of the women's' marches (how was anyone was anything but inspired?!), and announcing support for Trump - not only in his policies, but in his treatment of... well... everyone who isn't white and rich and male.
I keep trying to type out a sentence to explain myself or talk about how I feel and, for nearly the first time in my life, I can't seem to do it. Even this sentence was typed out three times, deleted and now, here we are, and it still doesn't at all hit the mark in terms of what I'm trying to say.
Maybe that's because I need to not say anything for a change.
If you want to send me something, send it via email (on Facebook) or text and keep it light: you know, kittens chasing their own tails and such.
I'm going to leave it at that and just move on to my three good things.
1. I had a really nice conversation with our previous babysitter today. She's a really lovely person and it was great talking to her. I am hoping to sneak over to her house on Wednesday for a quick coffee and visit with the boys. Even though I think moving to a new sitter was the right move for us, I do miss Judy (prev sitter), so I'm looking forward to seeing her.
2. Grayson had gymnastics tonight. He's so fun to watch. He smiles like a crazy man the whole time. Carter plays in the play structure during Gray's 1/2 hour class. Afterwards, my dad gets both of them a treat and, this time, they both picked these marshmallows, dipped in some sort of icing and semi-covered in sprinkles. Gray kept saying "oooo" in a really high pitched voice every time he took a bite; like this thing was so danged good, he needed a sound effect to accompany the bite.
3. Laying on the couch and watching a show with Jeff after the kids went to bed. The show was depressing as all get out, but hanging out with my main man was pretty awesome.
I don't even really know where to begin this post. I am not normally one ... seriously, I can't even come up with the words to accurately express how I'm feeling. Okay, let's start over.
I am going to take a break from social media. Facebook, specifically. I do still have to be on it for work, but in terms of my own Facebook, I feel like I need to check out.
I will keep posting Instagram pictures of my cute kids and sharing those to Facebook, and I will continue to correspond with people through Facebook's messages, but I need to step away from my news feed for a bit. Scrolling in the last little bit has left me feeling gross. I just don't know what other word to use. Actually, I can think of many other words to use: disappointed, frustrated, sad, defeated, disillusioned. I feel like I need an effing shower.
I 100% know that "checking out" isn't the answer, but I need a rest from all of the Trump stuff that's plastered all over my news feed (and my own Facebook page). I need to disengage from it for a bit. I need to stop reading long conversation threads, at the heart of which men (typically) are putting air quotes around the words "male privilege", making fun of the women's' marches (how was anyone was anything but inspired?!), and announcing support for Trump - not only in his policies, but in his treatment of... well... everyone who isn't white and rich and male.
I keep trying to type out a sentence to explain myself or talk about how I feel and, for nearly the first time in my life, I can't seem to do it. Even this sentence was typed out three times, deleted and now, here we are, and it still doesn't at all hit the mark in terms of what I'm trying to say.
Maybe that's because I need to not say anything for a change.
If you want to send me something, send it via email (on Facebook) or text and keep it light: you know, kittens chasing their own tails and such.
I'm going to leave it at that and just move on to my three good things.
1. I had a really nice conversation with our previous babysitter today. She's a really lovely person and it was great talking to her. I am hoping to sneak over to her house on Wednesday for a quick coffee and visit with the boys. Even though I think moving to a new sitter was the right move for us, I do miss Judy (prev sitter), so I'm looking forward to seeing her.
2. Grayson had gymnastics tonight. He's so fun to watch. He smiles like a crazy man the whole time. Carter plays in the play structure during Gray's 1/2 hour class. Afterwards, my dad gets both of them a treat and, this time, they both picked these marshmallows, dipped in some sort of icing and semi-covered in sprinkles. Gray kept saying "oooo" in a really high pitched voice every time he took a bite; like this thing was so danged good, he needed a sound effect to accompany the bite.
3. Laying on the couch and watching a show with Jeff after the kids went to bed. The show was depressing as all get out, but hanging out with my main man was pretty awesome.
Sunday, 22 January 2017
DAY 119, 120, & 121 - Friday, January 20; Saturday, January 21; & Sunday, January 22, 2017 - Back Home and oh so behind.
Holy Lord, I'm so behind on my three good things.
I actually started to type them up on my phone last night in bed, but passed out in medias res and when I woke this morning, discovered that it didn't save. BOOOOO. Such is life.
We drove to Saskatoon on Friday. As I mentioned in a previous blog post, on Thursday we were informed that Jeff's grandmother, who has been in the hospital since Boxing Day, was to being moved to palliative care. To this moment, she still hasn't been physically moved to that ward, but is on the list. We already had a hotel room booked for Saturday and were planning on going up with the kids for one night, but when the news came on Thursday that she was sliding downhill, we quickly booked a room for Friday night as well.
The weekend went as well as one could have hoped. Grandma has really rough days and not as bad days, but the truth is, it's only a matter of time. She will eat and drink sometimes and other times flat out refuses or gags. She randomly falls asleep, mid-sentence, and moves in and out of sleep. She's very frail and weak. Sometimes she is coherent, other times, not at all. I didn't actually get to see her, because my priority was making sure that Jeff was able to go, completely without worry about the kids, and that the kids were happy and cared for. He/we did not take the kids up to see her. Carter doesn't really know/remember who she is and Jeff didn't feel that he needed to see her in the state she was in.
It was an emotional weekend for Jeff and my heart hurts for him as he faces losing her, but it had some bright moments.
So, here we go.
FRIDAY, JANUARY 20
1. The drive up to 'Toon town was smooth. The weather was good, the highways were good, the kids were good. #Success
2. When we got into Saskatoon, Jeff got the kids and I into our hotel room, brought up all of our stuff, and took off right away to to to the hospital for his first visit with Gma. I took the kids to the pool at the hotel. They were such good boys and we had a great time. The whole time, of course, I thought of Jeff and wondered how his visit was going. But looking at his little boys, safe and having fun, was something that I knew he would very much have appreciated.
3. The kids went to bed really well for us. We had the TV on the cartoon network as we were winding the evening down (yes, bad, I know, but a weekend away in a hotel feels like an appropriate time to cheat on the rules). It was well past bedtime (9:00 p.m.) and the boys were in their pyjamas. Grayson asked to come up and sit on the bed with me. He cuddled into me and ended up falling asleep. Normally, I put him to bed totally awake, so this was a treat. I loved it.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 21
1. The first good thing about this day was that the night in the hotel room was a success. In the past, we've always gotten rooms that were more suites, in that there was a separate room (with some kind of actual door) so that we could put the kids to bed at their normal time (or as close to normal as we could) and not be stuck, ourselves, going to bed at that same time. But this time, we figured we'd give the regular two-double-bed type room a go because, realistically, we aren't getting the kids to bed before 8:30 p.m. anyway (if we're lucy) and maybe being forced to go to bed early ourselves wouldn't be such a bad thing. We do both have Kindles, after all. 🤓📑
The other worry about not sleeping in a room slightly more separate from the kids has been that if Grayson (who still sleeps in a playpen on these trips) wakes up and sees us, he will want to get up... whether or not that happens to be at 5:00 a.m. See, in his own room, if he wakes up at 5:00 a.m., he would go back to sleep (maybe after a brief chat with himself) but this, being the first time we have have all slept in the same room, felt like a bit of a test. And he passed! He was awake shortly after 7:00 a.m., which is earlier for him (especially since he went to bed pretty late the night before), but Jeff brought him into bed with us and he fell back asleep until about 8:30.
It was nice to know that in the future, we can book a regular room without much concern about how bedtimes and mornings will go, and that's kind of exciting.
I'm also kind of a lame-O in this way, but there's something cool about all four of us in the same room. It's my little gang and we're on this adventure together. There's something about that, that gives me the warm fuzzies. Also, it's cool that we're at this stage - the "regular family hotel room" kind of stage.
2. Jeff went back to the hospital to see Grandma and the boys and I went out for breakfast with Janette and the girls. It was a little chaotic, just Janette and I with four kids -- excited to be out and see each other, but they were all pretty well behaved and we did it. And it was nice to get some alone time with them.
3. After breakfast the boys and I went to the pool again and were there for quite a while before Jeff came back, donned his swimming trucks, and joined us. I won't bore anyone with the details of the rest of the day, but there were just a whole bunch of really good moments: watching Jeff waterslide with Carter, playing Crazy 8's with Carter and his cousins in the hotel lobby after we all got together to order pizza; watching the kids all pile onto one bed in my hotel room while Janette and Jeff went back to the hospital for another visit with Gma; having a drink with Janette when her and Jeff got back from the hospital; the fact that all day, Carter insisted on sitting next to Ava at every opportunity: breakfast, pizza, etc.
Again, while I don't want to downplay the sad/serious reason that brought us to Saskatoon in the first place, the good thing is that the boys, who really know nothing of the situation, had fun. Ultimately, this visit had two purposes: 1) a weekend for Jeff to see/visit with his grandmother, and 2) a fun weekend for the kids. After getting the kids to bed, I went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth and Jeff snuck in. He hugged me and thanked me for making this difficult weekend a little easier. It felt nice to hear that, because that was exactly what I was aiming to do. ❤️
SUNDAY, JANUARY 22
1. We are home! We are home! We are home! Did I mention how grateful I am to be in my own house -- in my own bed. I didn't sleep worth a crap the entire weekend, and being in our quiet house, in our big bed, in our own room, is HEAVEN.
2. I finally got me a Starbucks. I have been wanting one all weekend and today, on the way home, this desire was finally fulfilled.
3. My Mr. Chomps is sitting right here next to me in bed. I missed this fool cat, as big a pain in the ass as he is.
And with that, we start another week.
I actually started to type them up on my phone last night in bed, but passed out in medias res and when I woke this morning, discovered that it didn't save. BOOOOO. Such is life.
We drove to Saskatoon on Friday. As I mentioned in a previous blog post, on Thursday we were informed that Jeff's grandmother, who has been in the hospital since Boxing Day, was to being moved to palliative care. To this moment, she still hasn't been physically moved to that ward, but is on the list. We already had a hotel room booked for Saturday and were planning on going up with the kids for one night, but when the news came on Thursday that she was sliding downhill, we quickly booked a room for Friday night as well.
The weekend went as well as one could have hoped. Grandma has really rough days and not as bad days, but the truth is, it's only a matter of time. She will eat and drink sometimes and other times flat out refuses or gags. She randomly falls asleep, mid-sentence, and moves in and out of sleep. She's very frail and weak. Sometimes she is coherent, other times, not at all. I didn't actually get to see her, because my priority was making sure that Jeff was able to go, completely without worry about the kids, and that the kids were happy and cared for. He/we did not take the kids up to see her. Carter doesn't really know/remember who she is and Jeff didn't feel that he needed to see her in the state she was in.
It was an emotional weekend for Jeff and my heart hurts for him as he faces losing her, but it had some bright moments.
So, here we go.
FRIDAY, JANUARY 20
1. The drive up to 'Toon town was smooth. The weather was good, the highways were good, the kids were good. #Success
2. When we got into Saskatoon, Jeff got the kids and I into our hotel room, brought up all of our stuff, and took off right away to to to the hospital for his first visit with Gma. I took the kids to the pool at the hotel. They were such good boys and we had a great time. The whole time, of course, I thought of Jeff and wondered how his visit was going. But looking at his little boys, safe and having fun, was something that I knew he would very much have appreciated.
3. The kids went to bed really well for us. We had the TV on the cartoon network as we were winding the evening down (yes, bad, I know, but a weekend away in a hotel feels like an appropriate time to cheat on the rules). It was well past bedtime (9:00 p.m.) and the boys were in their pyjamas. Grayson asked to come up and sit on the bed with me. He cuddled into me and ended up falling asleep. Normally, I put him to bed totally awake, so this was a treat. I loved it.SATURDAY, JANUARY 21
1. The first good thing about this day was that the night in the hotel room was a success. In the past, we've always gotten rooms that were more suites, in that there was a separate room (with some kind of actual door) so that we could put the kids to bed at their normal time (or as close to normal as we could) and not be stuck, ourselves, going to bed at that same time. But this time, we figured we'd give the regular two-double-bed type room a go because, realistically, we aren't getting the kids to bed before 8:30 p.m. anyway (if we're lucy) and maybe being forced to go to bed early ourselves wouldn't be such a bad thing. We do both have Kindles, after all. 🤓📑
The other worry about not sleeping in a room slightly more separate from the kids has been that if Grayson (who still sleeps in a playpen on these trips) wakes up and sees us, he will want to get up... whether or not that happens to be at 5:00 a.m. See, in his own room, if he wakes up at 5:00 a.m., he would go back to sleep (maybe after a brief chat with himself) but this, being the first time we have have all slept in the same room, felt like a bit of a test. And he passed! He was awake shortly after 7:00 a.m., which is earlier for him (especially since he went to bed pretty late the night before), but Jeff brought him into bed with us and he fell back asleep until about 8:30.
It was nice to know that in the future, we can book a regular room without much concern about how bedtimes and mornings will go, and that's kind of exciting.
I'm also kind of a lame-O in this way, but there's something cool about all four of us in the same room. It's my little gang and we're on this adventure together. There's something about that, that gives me the warm fuzzies. Also, it's cool that we're at this stage - the "regular family hotel room" kind of stage.
2. Jeff went back to the hospital to see Grandma and the boys and I went out for breakfast with Janette and the girls. It was a little chaotic, just Janette and I with four kids -- excited to be out and see each other, but they were all pretty well behaved and we did it. And it was nice to get some alone time with them.
3. After breakfast the boys and I went to the pool again and were there for quite a while before Jeff came back, donned his swimming trucks, and joined us. I won't bore anyone with the details of the rest of the day, but there were just a whole bunch of really good moments: watching Jeff waterslide with Carter, playing Crazy 8's with Carter and his cousins in the hotel lobby after we all got together to order pizza; watching the kids all pile onto one bed in my hotel room while Janette and Jeff went back to the hospital for another visit with Gma; having a drink with Janette when her and Jeff got back from the hospital; the fact that all day, Carter insisted on sitting next to Ava at every opportunity: breakfast, pizza, etc.
Again, while I don't want to downplay the sad/serious reason that brought us to Saskatoon in the first place, the good thing is that the boys, who really know nothing of the situation, had fun. Ultimately, this visit had two purposes: 1) a weekend for Jeff to see/visit with his grandmother, and 2) a fun weekend for the kids. After getting the kids to bed, I went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth and Jeff snuck in. He hugged me and thanked me for making this difficult weekend a little easier. It felt nice to hear that, because that was exactly what I was aiming to do. ❤️
SUNDAY, JANUARY 22
1. We are home! We are home! We are home! Did I mention how grateful I am to be in my own house -- in my own bed. I didn't sleep worth a crap the entire weekend, and being in our quiet house, in our big bed, in our own room, is HEAVEN.
2. I finally got me a Starbucks. I have been wanting one all weekend and today, on the way home, this desire was finally fulfilled.
3. My Mr. Chomps is sitting right here next to me in bed. I missed this fool cat, as big a pain in the ass as he is.
And with that, we start another week.
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