Sunday, 26 February 2017

Bloggity Vacay

I've been MIA, as you might have guessed from a complete lack of posts.

I'm not back. Well, maybe I am; I'm not sure.

I do think I need to get back into doing my three good things. I am disappointed that I stopped.

Things have been... tough lately. And I'm feeling busy - but who isn't, really.

The truth is that I've been feeling pretty low. Fairly anti-social and anti-going-out. I'm good to talk to people over text, or via email, but for some reason, the thought of getting showered and dressed appropriately, and putting on makeup and brushing my teeth, and going out to chat with someone for a few hours, is the last thing I want to do. And I don't know why.

The people that I would do this with and for are amazing people. They are funny, fun, entertaining, kind, kick-ass advice providers, and all those other things you want in a coffee date, but I just want to stay home and be by myself.

I don't feel depressed, but I do feel a certain level of low -- a certain level of frustration and disappointment in my relationships; a feeling that I think has caused me to throw out a "whatever" and retreat inward. I have been feeling this way for weeks... a month maybe, and it's getting worse.

Today, for the first time since feeling this way, I mostly just feel like having a good cry. I'm struggling to pinpoint why my feelings are leaning in this way, but thankfully, I see my therapist on Wednesday and I'm hoping to dig into some of this with her.

I hope that no one reading this thinks this is in any way about them. This isn't about any one particular person and, I promise, this is about me. I know that it is. It's just a matter of sitting down and spending some time figuring out why I am feeling so off lately.

I'm sorry that my first post back in such a long time is a depressing one, but this is the reason I've been struggling with coming back. The blog has been heavily on my mind for weeks, but I just haven't been in a place to really write a post. The desire has been absent. But maybe just saying this - getting it out there - is what I need. I need to give myself good blog.

I certainly wouldn't call this good blog; by far, not my best, but sometimes you take what you can get in this world.

3 comments:

  1. Glad you posted. I've been wondering how you've been doing. 🙂

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    Replies
    1. Virginia! I can't find you anywhere. Not on FB, not on IG. Where did you disappear to?

      And thank you! Feeling better since this post, but continuing with the struggle re: coming back.

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    2. Yeah...I have disappeared from social media. I found that it wasn't adding anything to my life other than time wasting and annoyance!! 🙃

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