The Beginning

Okay, so I'm taking the plunge and writing my first blog post. I'm copying my sister-in-law, Janette (VancitymommyD - find and follow her blog here: http://full-timemommydearest.blogspot.ca/) who recently started up a blog as well. Reading her posts and a few randoms from other bloggers can put me in a reflective mood and reminds me of the joy and the release that writing can bring. 

I'm also extremely analytical, which can be a real benefit to me in some situations, but a serious issue that I need to manage much better in others. Sometimes, things don't need to be analyzed to death: they can just be as they are and, frankly, I can drive myself crazy with the obsessive over-analyzing I do. I need to learn to relax sometimes, I'll admit. 

I guess, what I'm hoping this blog will bring me is some balance. Like an online diary, it will allow me to vent my feelings, frustrations, rants, and work through issues that I'm struggling with. When I was in University, working on my English degree, the process of paper writing always started with finding a knot or "problem" in the novel, text, or whatever piece(s) you were working from. The paper would explore that knot or problem - at least, that's what I did. One of my English professors (whose blog can be viewed here: http://blueduets.blogspot.ca/) had this great analogy for students writing a paper: she said that writing a paper was like unpacking an idea. She would send us off to unpack our suitcases. I still think about that today when I write. I'm long-winded (this is now clearly evident), but what I'm saying is that I would like to use this blog as a place to unpack my half-formed ideas; to untie knots that will inevitably show up in my life. Maybe, if I can write about things, I can give them away - at least in part - to the world, and I won't continue to analyze them and put myself in the nuthouse. That's a big maybe.

I'm looking for release, a broadened perspective, the viewpoints of others, and the cathartic benefit writing has.

But I'm scared. Aside from my marriage and my family, commitment isn't my thing. Okay, I suck at it. A lot. So are my posts going to be like your regularly scheduled programming? Likely not, but I'm hoping I surprise even myself.

I'm not looking to gain a large following and fully expect that if anyone reads this blog, it will mostly be people in my life since I'll share them on my Facebook page. I worry that sometimes this will be difficult if what I'm working through in a particular post is relative to,well, a relative or friend. I am also a very open person, so there are bound to be posts about really personal things - things about childbirth, my body, pregnancy, sex, etc., and I'm pretty sure some people will cringe (brothers, mother, father: this is directed at you) reading some of those posts, but I figure I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

So there it is. That's my plan. Wish me luck.

Here goes nothing.