Thursday, 11 September 2014

Extended breastfeeding?


I weaned Carter about six weeks before his second birthday. I didn't plan on nursing him until he was almost two. My "plan" was to nurse him until he was one, if I was able. I remember, the day he turned one, nursing him before bed thinking that tomorrow, when he is one year and one day old, he's still the same kid and I'm still the same mom and to stop nursing at that time - simply because he had turned one -- felt arbitrary. So I kept going. I kept going because that's what worked for me and him, and that's what felt right for us. 

I don't think extended nursing is for everyone, and breastfeeding at all isn't for everyone, but we should support moms in their choices either way, knowing they are doing what is best for their particular child and situation. If a mom feels her child is too "old" and it's "weird" for her, don't worry -  she'll stop. If YOU think it's weird, that's got nothing to do with her and her child and my advice is this: then don't do it yourself. Why does everyone have to do things exactly how you would do them? Some people don't like olives, but there's no big stink made when olive-lovers eat them. The concept is the same: if you don't like olives -- good -- don't eat olives. Let the people who do like olives eat them to their heart's content. It has nothing to do with you. I don't know why the situation with extended breastfeeding isn't the same. 

I have no idea how long I will breastfeed the second baby for. If I've learnt anything with Carter, it's that I will make less defined plans and let my baby and the situation dictate my actions and decisions. When it comes to breastfeeding this second baby, I will take it one day at a time and allow whatever feels right to direct me. Maybe I won't make a year. Maybe I'll  nurse past his second birthday. I think it's asinine to make that decision now.

I am not pushing breastfeeding, or extended breastfeeding, I am pushing women supporting women, regardless of the choice they make. Being a mom is hard enough. We all already feel like we're doing the wrong thing half the time, so let's just be kind to one other.

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