1. It's December. I love Christmas, so this makes me happy. It also helps me to feel less like a crazy-ass for listening to and humming Christmas music all day erry'day.
2. My mom takes Carter for a lunch date, with just the two of them, on Thursdays. She usually gives me a little report of how it went. She told me today that during lunch he said to her, "Mother [that's what he calls her], thank you for taking me for lunch." He just said it just out of the blue like that. He is such a nice little boy. He's sweet, with a kind little heart and I just love him so much.
3. Gray is turning into a mama's boy. We have two boys, and -- though Grayson is definitely more even about his love for mom and dad than is his big brother who is blatant about his preference for Mom -- lately, I feel like Grayson is gravitating towards me a lot. This hurts my feeling for Jeff, but my heart warms at the thought that I provide him comfort and, in some way, I give him whatever it is that he needs.
That sort of brings me to something that I've been meaning to talk about for a while. It's related to my anxiety and my feeling about myself as a mother. I've been able to enjoy my time with the boys in a way that I've struggled to since my anxiety really spun out of control back in February. I want to do a more in-depth post about this, but for now, in short: enjoying my days off with them, instead of living in fear about illness, has felt like breathing again after being forced to hold your breath. It's a relief I can't quite articulate. I'm not really sure I'll be able to express the restriction and then the release in the post, when I do write it.
I'm just overwhelmed with love for my boys: for my husband, who has made this family with me -- who makes our house our home with me; for our little boys, who are getting so big, who are so affectionate, beautiful, and perfect - even when they aren't so perfect.
No comments:
Post a Comment