Well, sleep continues to allude me - both because of Grayson and because when I do get to bed, whether to nap or for the night, I struggle to fall asleep. I can't shut my mind off. Stupid things are keeping me awake, and a shit ton of mom-guilt. Guilt about Carter. Guilt about Grayson. It's all things that are either ridiculous (I didn't fill in nearly as much of Carter's baby book as I am filling in of Grayson's) or the same mom-guilt topics that plague many moms of two kids (I am not spending as much time with Carter as I'd like as I try to sort out Grayson's day-sleep issues) and as a mom whose baby is having tummy troubles (I'm eating the wrong things, so it's my fault he's in pain and not getting enough sleep). The point is: I'm still tired. This has to get better. Right? Right!?!
In spite of the 4 (or less?) hours of sleep I got last night, here are my 3 Good Things:
1. I actually got some cleaning done today so my house doesn't look totally atrocious.
2. I am kind of a proud mama with Carter. He just turned three on Christmas Eve, and like any toddler, he has tantrums and will sometimes cry over the stupidest things, but for the most part, he's such a good little boy. He's been listening well, eating well, going to bed well, and playing really well lately. When I'm trying to get Grayson to sleep, he plays with his toys in the living room until I come out. I can't remember if I've said this before or not, but I'm intrigued with watching his play lately, which has progressed to a new level of make-believe. I feel like he's engaging more in make-believe than he did even a couple of months ago and watching his imagination work its magic makes me proud. His toys talk to each other, or he will hold them up in front of his face so they are talking to me. He's such a little boy now and things like this are yet another reminder of that.
3. My brother's girlfriend, Sarah, came over today to tend to Grayson so I could nap. He didn't really allow her to do that and I only got about 40 minutes or so, but I so appreciated that she was over. She is one of the sweetest people I know and we're so lucky that Joel has chosen to bring her into our family. :)
And it's the weekend. This should me some more sleep for me. I hope. Come on, Grayson. Help a mama out!
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