DAY 40 - Wednesday, November 2, 2016: Lots of Good Things & Anxiety Wins

I am pooped out, folks and I still have a shit ton of stuff to do before bed. Such is life as a grown up, I suppose, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Today was a gooder though. Here's why:

1. Carter did so well at speech therapy. I watch him play games with the therapist and mostly just let them do their thing because I don't want to sidetrack anything for her, though I play the games when he wants me too. I watch his cute little face the whole time and I just love him so much. It's so crazy how much love you are capable of having for someone. I love it. I love the love.

2. Uncle Curt came over for a quick, surprise visit and Grayson actually squealed when he walked in. So stinkin' funny. I asked Curt who else reacts that way when he walks into a room. Turns out that's a small list: just his dog, Eugene, and (of course) Jerry. (hehe)

3. I got some errands done today -- you know, those ones that you keep meaning to do, but never actually doing. Yeah, those ones.

4. Carter told me tonight that Grayson is his best friend. He just told me that out of the blue. I wasn't asking about his best friends or anything. *sigh*

5. Looking through Paint Nite options for next weekend in Calgary. Cause I'll be in Calgary with my Soul Sister. Oh yes.

6. Reading books to my boys tonight, with my baby Gray curled up on my lap. Heaven on Earth right there. 

Anxiety Wins:

1. Letting Carter hold the hand rail as he walked up the stairs to speech therapy instead of getting him to hold my hand. (I realize that if I allow my anxiety to run the show on things like this I will completely screw up my kids. I could actually create people who have a phobia of germs that is debilitating in a way so much worse than mine/my anxiety is. And that's really scary to me. Though, my therapist says to use that as motivation to be and get better, instead of framing it negatively which would give room for feelings of guilt and or worry.)

2. Letting Carter come into the bank with me and play with the little section of kids' toys that they have there.

#WINNING #BOOYEAH