Wednesday, 25 January 2017

DAY 123 - Monday, January 24, 2017 - Three Good Things, from Yesterday

We're just about a month into 2017 and for me the theme of the year thus far is disillusionment. I think a lot of people are feeling this way, as Trump took office, but the feeling has seeped into other areas of my life, for example, this season of The Bachelor, with the delicious Nick Viall has been very meh for me to this point. This is a joke of course -- mostly; I do feel a little disappointed at my own lack of interest in this season since I was looking forward to it so much.

In all seriousness though, I just have an overall sense of the blahs as of late. Maybe it's January and the fact that January started with weather so cold, leaving the house was essentially dangerous. Maybe it's that there's this awful stomach bug going around and my anxiety is freaking the hell out about it. Maybe it's the fact that Jeff will be out of town next week on business and I'm not looking forward to that. Maybe it's the fact that we know that any day, we will get a call about his Grandma to alert us that she's gone. Maybe it's that I feel like we've been going non-stop since the Christmas break ended. Maybe I'm burning out.

I don't know. I just feel... off. I feel foggy, and more like disengaging in nearly everything than I have in as long as I can remember. I am not depressed, I am just - I don't know - uninterested. Luckily, the cornerstones of my life are solid and remain fulfilling: my marriage, my family, my job. It's just sort of all of the fluff around me that's starting to feel, for lack of a better word: annoying.

Anyway, I bailed on my three good things yesterday and decided to start a book instead (In a Dark, Dark Wood - which, by the way, is really good so far). But, in the interests of keeping up on those good things, here they are:

1. Skipping the three good things to read. I fell asleep reading. Few things in life are better than that.

2. Yesterday, I took my half day and spent the morning with the kids at the Early Years Family Centre. I loved it. It was a beautiful space that focused more on sensory toys and items than Toys R Us type toys, and that's why I liked it so much. I had never taken the boys to one of these before and we only went because it was a field trip for Carter's preschool. I will go back, no question.


3. Laying down on the couch when we got home from work. I'm not sure if I'm coming down with something or if it's tiredness catching up with me, but I just felt really tired, mildly achy, and headache-y. That 100% sounds like a flu, but I really should start keeping a log because my whole body (especially my lower back, hips, and legs) feel achy a lot. I can't count the number of times I've thought, "hmmmm, I wonder if I'm getting a flu" only to be completely fine the next day. It's probably time to make a doctor's appointment.

Anyway, laying down and closing my eyes for 45 minutes was a nice little break. I feel like in everything Jeff and I do, we hit the ground running and sometimes your body just wants to sit one out. And that was me last night.

It's Wednesday. I am off today, have a therapy appointment this afternoon, a date with a friend tonight for Chapters and Starbucks, and little-to-no desire to wear make-up or do my hair. Given the fact that I look like this----------------------->
I'm not sure how that lack of motivation is going to work out...

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