Once again it's 11:46 and my alarm is set to go off at 6:00. This very unhealthy sleep cycle (as in lack of sleep) has to stop. Now to actually do that instead of just talking about it.
1. Today we went trick-or-treating with our two boys. Watching them run down the sidewalk, Grayson's lion's mane bouncing with his movement, and Carter who would get up to the door, knock and then jump up and down while he waited because he couldn't contain his excitement, was pretty awesome. It felt like this: "Yup. This is what I signed up for. This is exactly one of those moments I've always wanted. And I'm living it -- right now." I just felt really lucky.
2. Both boys cried when we left them at the sitter today. That was hard. My heart broke a little and I wished I could have stayed home all day with them and cuddled and played games. I am so grateful that we are in a position where I am able to work part-time. That gives me those at-home, cuddle days and the days that I don't have them make me so much more grateful when they come.
Also, I missed my little guys terribly today. Much worse than normal. Missing people is a double-edged sword because it's painful to long for someone. But longing for someone serves as a reminder of the depth of your love for them. And I'm grateful for that too -- for the love.
3. Venting to my soul sister today. Cause I know she gets me like that.
4. Having a completely hilarious group conversation over Facebook with my family. These people are hilarious and I love them beyond all the things.
Anxiety Win:
Becoming more and more relaxed about how I eat food at work. I still find it so hard to eat anything with my hands, but there's no way around it, really, and it's a pain in the ass to figure out a way to eat a freaking sandwich without your hands. But it is cold and flu season, so I feel like I'm playing with fire. Even saying that freaks me out. I feel like just by saying it, I'm jinxing myself.
Oh lord, these problems run deep, people.
I hope you had a happy Halloween, if you celebrate that sort of thing :-)
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